The Afterlife takes legal action against Second Life
Posted by Andrew Farinella on March 30, 2008Heaven’s had enough of escapism that doesn’t involve a centuries old text and a collection of rules established to restrict enjoyment.
LOS ANGELES – In the wake of the popularity of Linden Lab’s online social game Second Life, there has been growing support to bring down the interactive giant. The loudest of these dissenting voices comes from the Afterlife itself. When asked about the hugely popular MMO, one heavenly employee had this to say:
“We are running into problems up here with that game. More and more people are asking if they can just go back into their Second Life instead of staying up here in the Afterlife. Without people, we can’t stay in business.”
Morale is dipping upstairs in God’s backyard. With a declining fan-base and even more customers skipping the happy ending for a virtual one, the Afterlife is starting to run into financial issues. In return, many of the employees of Heaven are finding it harder and harder to maintain a living.
“I can’t afford the name-brand cereal anymore,” says Tom Simons, one of the tennis teachers on staff at the Heavenly Tennis Courts. “It was hard enough to make a living as a teacher here since everyone who comes here is already a master at tennis, but now we don’t have anyone coming in, period. It’s empty.” This kind of squeeze is being felt all over Heaven. Every industry up high has been forced to make cuts due to a dropping client-base. However, Linden Lab’s feels that the fault does not lie with them, but with an outdated heaven.
“It’s not our problem that the Afterlife is losing their edge,” Ron Turnham of Linden Labs told Altrego, “they need to keep up with the times. Just look at all the out-dated attractions they have now. Eternal happiness? No one wants to be happy all the time, they want drama and that’s what we give them; drama.”
Turnham says that Linden Labs will be fighting the suit in court, calling it “erroneous” and “a desperate attempt at the spotlight from an aging escape from reality.” Since the announcement of the suit, however, Second Life’s sales have increased by 5%. With the positive publicity, Turnham also says that they are in no hurry to subdue the religious giant in court.
God was unavailable for comments.
Related posts:
Leave a Reply
