Nethack announced for Virtual Console



In a move sure to be loved by computer science majors and OCD sufferers, Nintendo announced yesterday that the consistently almost-popular rogue-like Nethack, originally released in 1987, will join its spring lineup of Virtual Console releases.

“We’re excited to be able to further our vision for Virtual Console,” said a Nintendo spokesperson, “to provide a platform for re-experiencing nostalgic or overlooked games from your childhood that you wouldn’t find at retail, and charge you five dollars for them.”

In Nethack, players choose one of several classes, ranging from staples such as the Wizard or Knight to the more esoteric Tourist or Archaeologist, and embark on an epic quest for godhood before dying to a soldier ant on the third level.

“While Nethack will be a different experience for most Wii gamers, we hope that it will bring a new generation the joys of repeated, unremitting failure” said the spokesperson.

When asked about the difficulties in porting a primarily keyboard driven game with several dozen separate commands, our spokesman was nonplussed. “We’ve put an unprecedented amount of work into updating the game to take advantage of the Wii’s strengths. It features a new inventory system that can be navigated by the Wii remote. Players will be able to cast spells through specific gestures with the remote, and commands like Untrap or Teleport can be accomplished by vaguely waggling the remote in front of the screen and hoping for the best.”

The Virtual Console incarnation of Nethack will retain its ASCII-based tileset in the face of recent graphical improvements, such as ‘graphics’. Nintendo hopes that this move will attract its more diehard enthusiasts to the primarily family-marketed console, while giving younger players an educational incentive to learn the alphabet.

While Nethack was until this point a freeware game, Nintendo believes that the added value in shaking a controller and watching letters move across your widescreen high definition TV more than justifies the cost. “We’ve been able to upscale the graphics with only minimal slowdown,” said the spokesperson, “bringing you moving alphanumeric characters in a clarity never before seen.”

Nethack will sell for 1000 Wii points.

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